My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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