he shaved USA in his pubs
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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