Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
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i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
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Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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