you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
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