i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset