I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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