I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
