you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
