Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
