We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
