Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize