but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
