Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Randomize
