Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
