So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
