oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize