I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
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