Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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