Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Its about making memories worth repressing
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Randomize
