i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
