drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
