the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
