We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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