How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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