You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
