I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
