how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
My ATM looks so different sober.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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