Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize