nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
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