Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
