small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
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Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
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The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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