covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
