I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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