only if we run a train.
done.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
