The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
