let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
He did a backflip because drugs
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
