I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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