and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Randomize
