My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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