worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
