You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
