i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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