I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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