That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
