in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
She bit a glass in half.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
