Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
