She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
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He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
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I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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