the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
