Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
