He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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