HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
