And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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