Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
