After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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