I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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