Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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