He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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