Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
