I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
