i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
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we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
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And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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