Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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