i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
