He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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